Toiling about Expectations...

Living a carefree life, the way I want to, the way i wanna do the stuff, the way I wanna go for my career, the way I wanna treat myself and people around me, the times I wanna smile or cry, the way I wanna crib , or study or play, like a kid...

Am I living the life my way, a carefree life or am I passing it away, just toiling about the expectations around me?

May be the second one is more appropriate in each of our lives. It starts the moment you are born, people want you to smile or laugh or do all that funny stuff, at the very time they want you to. It may insist you to think that I don't even understand the meaning of expectations... but think , isn't it that cagy when you have to stand or sit or sleep the way about.

Lets just take parents, offcourse they have thought the best for you the way they think. But may be that yours and their way of perceiving, thinking or deciding things does not go on the same path. At times you must have found urself on a cross road...when you are to choose the way out of one that goes with your desires ant the other bringing true their dreams. When you go with the thought that its your life, then may be you are being selfish. And when you try to come upto their expectations, may be you are being unfair to urself. And if there is a person like me would go with their dreams, hoping to see the contentment and happiness in their eyes, even if I have to wipe my tears off every other moment.

There are always some special ones in your life, and being special , they are on the side, when they have a right to expect something from you... and when its you who cannot let them down , here comes another burden ( not exactly burden 'coz doing doing something for them is a source of happiness), but at times it can be really difficult, when you have to smile, even if your heart is really tensed and it seems impossible to control your tears, just 'coz they expect you to be smiling and cheerful always.

You are always expected to be good and cooperative to everyone ( even if the other person isn't), to come forward with everyone or not being selfish ( even if those so called all are none but legpullers), to prove urself the best in watever sphere ( even if you have got no interest), to remember everything ( really tough for pathetic memory people :) ), to present yourself really good wherever you go (who the hell is gonna see???), to behave decently and control your emotions in a crowd around ( cannot even be urself when somebody is around ), to be with everyone (even if you feel hell lot detached), to care for everyone around ( is it really that easy as one says..?) and what not????

Doesn't it feel like a machine when you auomatically change into another person depending upon the surroundings and people around, and your behaviour, talks , thoughts, ways I mean everything blah blah blah changes so automatically and perfectly and even comfortably that even you are not able to notice it sometimes???????? no matter watsoever is going on behind...

Its so difficult to keep everyone happy na...... even after you forget urself and just think about the other one, life runs away this way only. You are always busy in coming upto everyone's expectations and forget wat actually you were and wat you desired to do........... But at times its really satisfying also, and most importantly when the other person is one whom you love.

The happiness you see in their eyes is more worthy than all your sacrifices or tears, and for this one happy moment, atleast I can give away whole life, for making the wishes of all my close n special people come true.......... And when you reside in the heart of Gaurangi,,, today or forever you have a right to expect!!!

Cheers!